unfortunately he told me that because there was so much distrust he didnt know if he could trust what I was saying and it wasnt fair for me dump my feelings on him at this time. Share your own successes and happiness so they know youre happy too. If his past breakups were calm then maybe its just in his personality to be a peacekeeper. Maybe they will get mad at first, but theyll understand eventually. If your ex is extremely happy with her then it could be possible that he was just reaching out to you to check up on you and be nice and he has no intentions of things progressing further than that. Perhaps they thought you might be a good person to hit up and hook up with. Ive never been friends with an ex before and neither has he. Now, some of these reasons are good for your quest to get your ex back and some of the reasons are bad. If he wants to be in a relationship with you, then you can work on the being there method again it is about not crossing that line that he ends up cheating on the other girl. Sex makes us all a little crazy to be honest. When that happens, you should decide if this person is worth getting back with, and if they are, tell them how you feel. That said, if you and your ex have been separated for a while now and they've started to date someone new, it might not be an ex rebound relationship. As a result, if a man broke up with you then he might hold some resentment against you because you pushed him to a point where he had to break up with you. It is not your exs place to make the decision for you, after all! You can talk to them and catch up, or if you feel like it, tell them you dont really want contact with them. He had a hard time processing the fact that I had a new boyfriend and told me that he never felt with anyone the way he felt with me and that he felt depressed. We are both in relationships now and he has always been adamant that he loves me and that I mean a lot to him. He has a girlfriend and I do feel terrible but I do still love him and miss him a lot. You can talk to them and catch up, or, if you feel like it would be healthier, tell them you dont really want contact with them. Nowadays, we started talking again and hes being so flirty and keeps teasing me as if were still together while hes in a relationship! and "good choice!" It is valuable to put into perspective the impact of a breakup on sense of self, feelings of loss, and fear of having made a mistake. Im just weak to when he calls I answer and the problem. He probably assumes you still have feelings for him and he is manipulative enough to leverage those feelings to his advantage. If your ex boyfriend contacts you when he has a new girlfriend. Is your ex with someone else but still contacts you? You are following the being there method well but be sure not to cross any lines so that he cheats. You see, if thats the case, they hopefully tell you as soon as you ask about their relationship. *** Thomas Merton After a 3-year relationship, Julia's boyfriend, Dylan, told her he thought they should move on and date other people. She was also not meeting his physical needs. Hi Nancy, I would say that he is thinking about you romantically but you also need to be sure that you dont allow yourself to become the other woman. Is my ex in a rebound relationship? 7 signs to figure it out 5 Ways To Deal When Your Ex Is Dating Someone New - Bustle The new relationship is completely separate from you and what you two had, and that's okay. Lets break this example up into three parts and dissect it. What's Really Going on When People Stay in Touch With Exes I want to tell you a really interesting story about a friend of mine. When you hear that he has moved on your first reaction is pretty normal for this type of thing. Needed this article cause currently in the position of wondering what my ex wants! Most women who are in this situation make the mistake of assuming that their exes arent hurting at all. They dont know the other person nearly as well as they know you, and they might feel like they are missing out on something. When I decide to cut him off he texts me and creates conversations. He comes crying and bringing up all the good times, how he took me for granted. You're panicking. 5 days he messaged he misses me and he was sorry Around the six month mark you get a call from your ex and you notice that he is extremely flirty with you. And if you want more then you need to explain to him that you want the girlfriend out of the picture before you will take him serious. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. I still have feelings for him and i havent told him but i also dont really know whats going on with him and the other girl . Which again means you need to do a NC to give you both a break. Their new partner broke up with them; that is why they are not feeling well and want you to cry with them in the process. However, he never asks to meet in person or even to talk on the phone, he always just texts. How To Cope With Your Ex Finding Someone New. But my insecurities got the best of me. You can do one of two things: stop responding or respond with a clear message that you are no longer interested and that any future contact should be avoided. He is really close to my family and they are all mad at me because I gave him the chance to move on so its my fault Im in this situation. Your ex will never experience with this new person exactly what they did with you. 1) They're Still in Love With You Okay, let's get the most burning question out of the way right from the start: It's possible that your ex still has feelings for you and is trying to get back with you. "Maybe she's just a friend," I thought until I saw comments from her friends like "he's a cutie!" I feel that I am at my best when I give examples (or made up examples) to illustrate my points so that is what I am going to be doing here. I am going to take an in-depth look at each of these reasons and describe how they will help or hurt your case to get your ex boyfriend back. I felt sick to my stomach. #1. Im trying to get over him without jumping into another relationship. Your ex is not over you: "He is dating someone else but still contacts me." That is the reason. When asked what he wants he says he dont know. Maybe his new girlfriend isnt satisfying his physical needs properly. If you wanted to talk to me you wouldve but its easy to even replace that If I can bother to read your dm and answer then Ig I was expecting the same lmao But its easier to post smth , ignore it , talk to others and then come back to the last option me: Ooo my , I have no words rn my mind just went poof, again I did think about you in a sense of a way that youre busy txting others as well, doing your thing and heading off to bed is all why I stoped , also didnt wanna constantly like spam you if you know he got pissed off as he said and left me on seen but just idk if its just me that can understand or not but my way of thinking is yes be positive and good which I am nowadays normally just I see it in a way to respect that I know he has a new gf meaning Im not gonna be spamming him as back then so why I told him that I know hes doing his own things from what I understand and way he acted is like okay then lemme let you cool off or what did I do wrong that mad him change his vibe. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my issues with real clarity. I found out that he was speaking to somebody new about 3 weeks after we put a stop to speaking. Hes broken. It is definitely NOT GOOD for your chances if your ex is just being friendly. as Im like thinking about it cause me and my ex boyfriend firstly were best friends for 2 yrs then later on admitted our feelings then in a relationship for 1yr together said and done lot of things but he called it off in January and it was okay but went downhill on terms to say. If everything works out in his warped world here is what will happen. Which is really confusing me cause he can be happy with me then act like he doesnt care next then gets mad out of nowhere. I told him it messes with me when he says things like that. So, when you look at the message above what do you think an ex boyfriend would be trying to accomplish by venting about his current relationship to you? And guess who they have to turn to for help? He broke up with me in September 2020, then came back as a friend and I ask him not to stay in touch with me anymore. I tend to overreact when I am emotional. After a while, he got into a new relationship too, but continued texting me, he even said that when he spends time with her, he thinks about me, which is so sad since he got himself in a new relationship and to be honest I kinda felt the same, throughout my new relationship. They may be dating someone else but are still contacting you because they can't get over their feelings for you. My Ex is Already Dating Someone Else | The Modern Man If you are extremely happy in your relationship do you contact your ex? Of course, after the breakup he immediately moves on to someone else. The next thing that I think you should take a look at is his past romantic history. You need to work on the Ungettable information and show him that other guys are interested in you using social media and subtle jealousy hints that there could be another guy interested in you. They may want to brag about their new partner, share their happiness with you, or simply check-in to see how you are doing. He was my best friend. Updated on May 4th, 2021 You find it baffling, don't you? We havent been sexual since the breakup, not even in our discussion. Our situation wasnt ideal because we worked together ( no dating policy) has to keep the relationship on the DL and I have children. Maybe he compared her to you in bed and you won the comparison (GIGS anyone?) Why am I so confident that they can help you? Ok, lets move on to the meat of this article. We kept in touch all during the trip & when I returned he tells me hes dating someone new but wants to keep in touch. Now its 2.5 months later & he still keeps in touch by watching my IG stories & reaching out with very flirty, almost on the edge of sexting messages. I dont know what to do because I love him but I dont know if I should wait around or let it go. Part 1- Your ex boyfriend breaks up with you saying he no longer feels like he did at the beginning of the relationship. Here are some things I remind myself to get through this process: Your ex did not get an upgrade. It was normal talk and then was like Ive been good to him all these years and its not right to have bad blood. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. I was in an unofficial relationship with a certain for almost two yrs, he told me he wasnt ready the whole time. Now, why am I focusing so much on the man breaking up with woman as opposed to the woman breaking up with the man? This action taken by your boyfriend really isnt helping your chances of a reconnection either. One of those ways that he can get back at you is by trying to make you jealous of his new relationship. I need help please. A lot of my friends have confessed they've felt the same way, especially when they're forced to find out through social media. My question is, why the hell would he text me that he misses me and then disappear out of a sudden? He always accusing me and I wasnt the one doing anything. Is It Good or Bad For My Chances Of Winning Him Back If He Is Just Being Friendly? 1. She had told him that she was just texting friends but he later found out that she was texting another guy with some very flirty text messages. (Which I suppose is good news for if you are trying to win your ex boyfriend back.). This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. He will continue to get sex from his current girlfriend while at the same time having you on the hook enough to believe in this friends with benefits idea so he can get sex from you too. In fact, I never have and I have to say that when I go by my own experience in this life it is rare to find a man that is on really good terms with his ex. I treated my ex as a friend and told him that he could get back to my apartment, but he doesnt want to hurt his girlfriends feeling. I gave him an ultimatum and asked if he ever saw himself marrying me one day. As I mentioned above, the sooner an ex gets into a new relationship after a breakup, the more likely it is that it's a rebound relationship. He said he would only be there for me as a friend because I have hurt him so much. My Ex Is With Someone Else But Still Contacts Me - 9 Reasons People had more contact if they had feelings for the ex, had amicable breakups, or were. I said how good it was to see him Otherwise, you might be setting yourself up for heartbreak and pain. He has been popping up almost every day now. I had assumed he broke up with the current girl hes with but he then posted a picture and she commented with a red heart. Well, I am not to sure where to begin. However, every once in a while you will get a guy who just wants to be friendly for the sake of being friendly after a breakup and it is important for you to recognize the signs to decipher if your ex is doing this to you. For those of you whose memories may be a little foggy on what it is allow me to give you a quick crash course. However, never feel obligated to get back with someone just because they still have feelings for you. Within a month your ex boyfriend meets someone new and starts dating her. After you did the right thing following being dumped by going into no contact, your ex has started dating someone else - someone new. However, I would also observe his behaviour. Please send me some advice. Is he happier without me, is he not? He is dating someone new but still contacts me : r/ExNoContact - Reddit Some will close themselves off from the world building a wall around themselves that prevents anyone from getting in while others take the opposite approach and go into hardcore party mode letting everyone in. Pretty soon he is asking to see you and it is very apparent what is on his mind, sex. In turn, what you can do is work on establishing a good bond with your ex. Dont do anything that could hurt them thats just not decent. Getting into relationships in the past at least hasn't changed the way I cared about my exes. No. Hi, Carolyn: Two months ago, my girlfriend of 18 months and I mutually broke up. Focus on affinity, laughter, exchanges. I expressed those feelings to him and that I was not able to see him someone else or to share his time with someone else at the same time. Ok, sex can make some men so crazy that they are willing to cheat on their girlfriends with someone else just because they want that 5 second feeling over and over again and just being with one woman isnt enough. Now, the bad kind of crazy is what we are going to be looking at exclusively in this section. my ex and i dated twice, the first time we dated for a month then he cheated on me, he insisted on us being friends so i agreed, a few months later, he hit me up saying how much he missed me, even went as far to go to my mom and apologized for hurting me, and promised to never cheat on me again, so i took him back, it was fine for a while, then he ended up cheating on me even more with multiple girls, he ended things after i kept bringing it brought it up, i moved on, but i still have him on social media, and i tell everyone im over him (which i am) but every time he messages me, i message him back (keep in mind he has a girlfriend) and i lie to my friends, and family and say i dont respond to him when i do, i hate lying to them, but theyll be disappointed in me if i say im talking to my cheating ex who shattered my heart, i keep telling myself im over him, but i still end up answering his texts, and he sometimes talks about our memories and asking to hang out, and i agreed.. like i said im over him, i just dont know why i still message him. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. If you can confide in your ex about your current relationship, perhaps that's the ultimate sign you've moved on to a friendship that's just as special. What happens when things dont work out between them and their new partner? So, oftentimes a man can revert back to an ex to get those types of needs met. When Your Ex Girlfriend is Seeing Someone Else But Still Contacts You Loved the article and I thought perhaps you could provide some insight to my situation that Im currently struggling with. Months and sometimes years after a relationship, my heart rate still accelerates when I see an ex is dating someone new on Facebook. My ex is dating someone else but still contacts me. What should I do? He jumped into a serious relationship with a woman around his age the next week. For the first 2 years he would not commit completely and after living together the 3rd year I told him I could not do it anymore because he was not taking our relationship seriously. You say you are over him, but it could be that you are seeking validation from him as he broke your heart and most likely your confidence too. But its not always the case, some people will talk to you for a week or two before dropping the bomb because they want you to build up a liking for them again. Ok, lets put this in the perfect context for this guide. When I say I cannot and tell him we need to stop talking, he calls crying. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. Forget your friends and family for a second and realise this guy treated you poorly and clearly has not changed because he is doing the same, even if it is emotionally, he is cheating on the current girlfriend. any help advice Id really appreciate a whole lot thank you for your time. So if your ex is contacting you for a reason like this, then its best to shut things down before they get out of hand. If you want to get him back as a boyfriend then you need to read an follow the information about the being there method, The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back, The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide), What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means, Heres Exactly What Hes Thinking During The No Contact Rule, What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You, How Long It Takes For Male Dumpers To Regret, Talking To A Psychologist About Your Exes Body Language. Maintaining No Contact, Regardless. I would like to start by saying that in this made up example your ex boyfriend is the one breaking up with you. Lets do that now! Why not make a new friend and set up a friends with benefits type of relationship with her? If your ex is dating someone new while you're implementing the No Contact Rule, you likely have FOUR questions occupying your mind. He blocked me and unfriended me on social media. Well, the shocking thing to me was the fact that my buddy had nothing but horrible things to say about his ex. I dont know. Is he happy with his new girl? Still a little confused as to how GIGS works. Few weeks passed and I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said yes he will text me in the morning and never did. Of course, then the flirting evolves into something else something sexual. I was in a relationship for 2 years. Last but not least, an ex might be contacting you simply because they want sympathy. Key points A survey showed that close to half of college students report having contact with an ex. Does he really want to be friends with me or do you think there are alterior motives? Whats my trick for looking at things logically? Is your ex in a new relationship and still relentlessly contacting you? Thats ok, I can give you a quick refresh. So the thing is, I had a 6 months relationship with my ex, 5 years ago, and since then we've been off and on, more like friends with benefits. This one doesnt necessarily have to mean that they want to get back together with you, maybe they are simply feeling bad about how things ended and want to be on good terms with you. In my experience, they most likely are bored with their current relationship and want you waiting in the wind for them. When I asked him whats going on his response is that its just friendly conversation because he has a girlfriend. So.I dont understand why hes still reaching out, whats the point? We have been broke up for 3 months and he is messing with another girl after I thought we were trying to work our relationship out. So my ex boyfriend contacted me after 8 months. Him moving on so fast kind of stings you a bit but you know youll survive given some time. He couldnt see a future. He is denying that hr goes with this girl and she posting all kind stuff on his post about them. I loved him very much but he was disrespectful and always had lady friends and still kool with his exes. Is he unhappy in his relationship and looking for reassurance from you? Its a great way to help them out and to show them that they can talk to their partners about anything. Maybe he is trying to set up a friends with benefits relationship with you. For example, lets say that he thinks back to the way you used to take such good care of him when you were sick and his new girlfriend really doesnt take care of him like that at all. You get to be the one who made rainbow cake with them or first showed them Arrested Development or whatever made your relationship special. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. How can you forgive someone for cheating? So, when we look at your overall chances of winning him back things in this instance things arent looking so great. Hello, My Ex Is Seeing Someone Else During No Contact Whatever the case, the fact that he is willing to cheat on his current girlfriend with you is a major red flag. Your ex is not your responsibility, so dont feel bad if youve set boundaries with them and theyre upset. But, then again, I personally would not be happy if I had a boyfriend who was messaging his ex-girlfriend in a friendly manner? obsesses over the other woman she sees in his Facebook photos. This is another action indicative of someone who is trying to move on. This is a sign that they still care and want to keep up with you. Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like talking to an ex after a breakup. When your ex girlfriend is seeing someone else, but still contacts you, it puts you into a dilemma. We tried dating off and on but then I decided that we would only be friends. Does Him Having The GIGS Help or Hurt Your Case To Getting Him Back? Secondly, why in the world would he do this? The Grass Is Greener Syndrome- Is a term used to describe what a man goes through when he starts dating someone new who doesnt measure up to the standard you set in a relationship with that man. Particularly this friends with benefits idea. Don't try to rush in and do "damage control" or pour out your heart to your ex. He would buy things for them (bunk beds, etc). However, how quickly you get into a relationship isn't a measure of how desirable you are. A number of things could be happening. We both enjoyed our casual thing, however we were never really straighforward about our feelings, we enjoyed our time and there was no need of saying words like "I love you" and such, cause we both already knew that. They Are Sympathy Seekers The reason your ex is contacting you is that they are experiencing some hard times in their lives. After being broken up for 9 months he got a new girlfriend and I was okay at first even though he posted on social media constantly. They might not want to be single like you, but they dont know what they want in a partner. So what does that look like? If you are really searching for a get your ex boyfriend back guide then I recommend you take a good hard look at my book. It's the worst when your ex's new significant other is someone you don't even like.