I leaned out, leaned out hard and have strong boundaries against leaning back in too hard. After reading this, I actually had to take a few days to process because a lot of what most people are saying resonates with me also. Anyway, Ive been going through this same dilemma for several years. But after lockdown, I realised that wasnt for me., He says he has come to see awards and promotions as other peoples measures of success not necessarily his own. Im not a stressed anxious mess like I was at my last job. I dont want to be paid to do things for other people. Its okay for ambition not to be one of them. I took the better part of a year off after leaving a role that had been hell for my mental health. Perhaps actually, Ennui, is a good one? Nobody ever WANTED to work in a match factory and have their jawbones go bad. Then my child got very very sick. Im similar to you, Sola. You said youve always been eagar to find new challenges and meet new goals. Give yourself time to figure out the next step, itll come to you (and may not be what youre expecting). It also might be worth seeing a therapist talking through what youre feeling with a professional might help you articulate whats missing for you. I got a new job with a different focus in a different industry and it has energised me again. My job and work achievements are maybe 10% of my identity today, whereas they were 95% in the past. enjoy your savings and your socialist hellhole (lol) and be a person of leisure for a while and see what happens. I love this response! They are good to me. Thank you for that input! And I dont want the job. If you were to die tomorrow, the company would just replace you with no fanfare. lean in and all that. Shes widely recognized as a person who knows what they are doing. The culture. An Open Letter To Those Who Have No Ambition, No Goals, And No Dreams I have no answers. Conversations Ive been having recently about mental health problems all seem to center around the fact that for the people in that conversation, half the problem is the brain, half the problem is the world. Some people decide not to come back even (high pressure, high stress tech job). Because I have reasons why Im pretty steady in an acute crisis that are not necessarily part of standard human operations, or healthy, but they are what they are, and the timing of that portion of the pandemic worked out personally for me: less other stress, more optimism that my fellow humans (mostly americans) had any ability to withstand a crisis. Im of a more mystical / Contemplative bent, so Ive found quite a bit of wisdom in these paths. The other part is something that happens as you get older. I feel like I had this experience early in the pandemic (and starting even before the pandemic, actually) and now Im out the other side and ready for a bigger challenge again. I enrolled and graduated with top honours at a prestigious university, scored a really impressive job and had an amazing career. Perhaps its time to focus your striving on appreciating the small stuff, the things that, for most people, lead to greater contentment: meaningful even if modest work, good relationships, health, and sensory pleasures, from sex to nature's wonders. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in October and it definitely made me feel less driven and just generally not like myself. No dreams. Not every question has to be about someone going through something awful. I took a radical step out of my technology management career a while ago, took some time off and eventually came back to a role that looks nothing like what I went to school for, pays a whole lot less and I love it. The drive that you had to get two masters degrees means that youre able to be in a position to take a sabbatical; its like a gift that younger you is giving older you. Therapy. So. I did once change my career entirely (virologist to IT tech) and I was surprised how much I actually loved the new work compared to the old one. I hope that helps you as you consider not taking this job. So I am figuring out how to retire before age 50. I speak from experience on the PCT. I got my education and then lost my husband. Im asking the question and frankly this thread has skewed to far in the direction of mental health and not around lack of career drive and job dissatisfaction. Im there with you. Many of the people working there didnt have a lot of education or opportunities in life, and many of them thought the job was awesome. Except that I think the one thing we can definitively say is that just going back to the way things were isnt the solution, since clearly there were a lot of people who didnt find the whole dressing up and commuting thing conducive to their job satisfaction, and just didnt complain because what were they going to do about it? The pandemic left a lot of people feeling very different about work and how it balances with the rest of life. Breaking it up so you dont just have one Thing, so that in the future if something like this comes up again, it doesnt shatter your entire self-image. You sound like someone who is thoughtful and considerate of all your priorities and responsibilities. It does require more planning and figuring out what youre real priorities are, perhaps, but it is possible if you want it. Citations for what? It took a lot of changes with my money mindset to find real prosperity and start to actually see money flow in . Ha! Im an author, farmer & mother. Where did these goals come from? Most if not all of us have been there. Now that we are almost back to normal, I see that a lot of places where I gave 130% to cover for folks who couldnt give 70%, now it is expected to be the norm. Then, when you hit age 30, worry increases up until mid-life, and then it falls again. Odds are if you sit with the decision a bit, youll find your intuition is trying to tell you something. I just didnt care about the work anymore and hated going to work every day. People are still going to want to solve problems. People had to, or felt like it was worth it for some future payoff. Honestly, if it helps the person avoid the prejudice toward women who take time away to care for children, Im all for it. Youve described me to a T! Ambition has to come from inside you. I now also worry about my health security because a few years ago I incurred a back injury that takes so much mental energy to deal with. I was in a financial position to afford it but I felt like a real piece of gross just sitting on my behind not working. It is absolutely 100% ok to want to relax, be noncompetative, not love working and I only say this because by your letter this sounds like a pretty radical change for you. My creativity is appreciated and I get to collaborate directly and help make companies that I believe in offer even better products and services. You might find that serves you really when when you get a FT job and you enjoy feeling connected to a group of people at work, even if you arent saving the world. If anyone in my situation reads this, please comment, Ill give you a link to him. Not sure why. Youre also out of the demanding years of childrearing. When the pandemic hit last spring, Mr James Routledge experienced some familiar symptoms. I guess I would just think about whether this is a sign that you should quit your job entirely or just a bump in the road. Its their definition of ambitious I was trying to live up to. (There was a similar shift a while back when people stopped having to have kids because they needed someone to work the farm, and had to make having a kid implicitly valuable, which also ended up in a massive change in marriage dynamics its fascinating to read about.). Like, mustering the energy to even consider my to-do list, after which point I have nothing left to actually *do* the to-do list. For example, once I started taking an evening language class, it shifted my priority away from work (I have to finish in time because my class is this evening, rather than I cant do that because Im too tired from work). But this is worth making your life much more frugal for, if thats something you can manage in your situation.) I used to be incredibly driven to be successful in my career. Im not making much money, and mostly living on savings, but things are picking up, and I dont dread going to work each day. Instead of feeling like a victim, however, I could still work with what was under my control: my response to it and how I would act in my own decisions about my career and life choices. Well, thats the question, isnt it? I also found it helpful to talk with a therapist to process all my feelings and work through not tying my whole sense of self-worth to my job. Take your time. I have a decent job, financial stability and Im relishing my vacation time and evenings off and planning for longer trips and life outside of work. But our populations are small and we need everyone to work, who is able to. 5. Disillusioned by the terrible treatment I experienced at the hands of my former manager, the lack of help from HR, etc., I basically completely shifted gears from I want to be a Chief Engineer and be in charge of my own whole program and represent women in engineering leadership WOOOOOOOO to why the f would I give myself that kind of stress and that kind of workload for a company that doesnt care about me at all? I didnt know what I wanted to do. Its WORK. Dresscode, thats uncanny! 'Otherwise, there might be no real sense of achievement - you feel the need to instantly replace one ambition with another,' she says. Oh, but I might suggest reading some Oscar Wilde and his contemporaries. If you can do something else, you should do it. Im not opposed to work, but I am opposed to *having* to work. Personally it made sense to sacrifice life for career and money in my 30s. At the end of the day, you arent going to take money with you onto the next life but at least try and make yourself and others happy while youre here. by Take advantage of that. I feel like I am working hard not to benefit my life or build something, but to just have a hope of surviving in the future. Hovering on the edge of progressing towards worse. I think youve really hit on something here. You may find it useful to think about what you do want, make a vision board (sounds lame until you try it), read some blogs and articles from people who changed life utterly. Yup. Its a fun time for me, not battle with burnout. Nothing seemed to carry the weight it used to. Throw in the last, uh, seven years? I like the idea someone else mentioned of taking time away to reflect. Writer, I have gone through this for the past two years. For some it might be having a book published. It could also be intrinsic, meaning something that comes from within. Nope. I know the feeling. I realize this makes me sound like very confused; I dont have the vocabulary to express the idea well. So I went back to school and studied something I found interesting. Having an engineering qualification would put you in the very desirable category. Choice is the thing that makes you who you are! A concept that has really helped me as a new parent is the idea that life has seasons. But if its not its OK to take a step back and figure it out. Its kind of peaceful not to have to feel like I have to prove myself by being amazing at my job anymore. Its easy to get into the mindset that therapy is for when youre in pain or crisis, but it can also be so so useful (with all the usual caveats about finding the right person/style) for working through exactly this kind of change in direction and sense of yourself. There is something about the energy of interacting with a team that is missing and its causing people to feel a lack of motivation and stimulation. Its okay to let what is happening around us teach us and show us things that we have never seen before. I can really relate to this! They will probably come to you naturally. My husband feels the same way about his work. I just dont want to work as hard anymore as I did during covid and to be honest, I dont want to work as hard as I worked before covid. There is so much more than grinding away day in and day out. I just plain did not want to center work in my life the same way anymore. Seeing how many people let their career define everything about them down to their soul level depressed me and left me feeling empty. However, I agree with everyone else. Thats what Im thinking, too. Adding that book to my TBR. I ended up leaving for something less prestigious, but much slower paced and with a very flexible schedule. I feel you OP. Who would not when we are afraid and we fear the light as much as we fear the darkness? It just doesnt seem worth it. Ive been freelancing since, and I have no plan to return to full time work. Acknowledging that relief is so important. Answer (1 of 16): If the reason for your hopelessness n loss in faith is because of your job issue, then you aren't probably analyzing things here, which is so common when you are at that level of stress. One other piece for those who feel less driven could be that it might be that time in your early career where you realize how much you really need to do to get your job done/real life expectations. If you can afford to take some time off, I think you should! Take the time. I am not burned out, either. I spent a lot of time sobbing. Why not give it a try? I think OP needs a break, but I also think it would be useful for OP to understand that they can dial back the enthusiasm and commitment level and its not slacking. That would be a sunk cost fallacy in action, and you deserve better uses of your time and energy than that. And then right after that, covid hit. Plenty of people respect that. I dont believe the old promises of rewards will happen if I just Work Hard, so I dont want to make the old sacrifices of 60+ hours weeks. I wish you the best and hope you learn from all these comments that you very much are not alone. Also, theres usually a reason why something that looks perfect doesnt actually appeal. The answer: People. Dont quite believe this? I know you arent experiencing burnout in the way that you did before, but I wonder if youre feeling a bit of the accumulated exhaustion of being super duper productive for a long time while also becoming a bit disillusioned about that time in your life. What youre feeling is pretty normal but it doesnt feel that way because its a new feeling for you. Yes yes yes 100% yes. :( I feel this so very much. I hope youre able to find the positive side to this shift too. July 17, 2023, 6:00 pm, by A lack of ambition can certainly be overcome. This was me in a sense. What an apt use of that quote. If you have that chance, take it and see where it leads you! I ended up lying in bed a lot and not telling my boss if i had more bandwidth than the projects she assigned me my change in attitude scared me enough, so I spent the past year actively managing it. Thats a fair point. I know many Americans who have taken sabbaticals, or who dont work long hours in a full-time office job and have the flexibility to travel. Begin with yourself. Open to gigs. I still like my job. Personally its spending my work time with people I dont know well or care for much beyond passing acquaintance, and my free time very far away from people I love. 27 Ways To Overcome Lack Of Ambition | BetterHelp If youre not working towards anything now, it can quickly turn into a chicken or an egg problem where you think you dont want the job because of how you feel, but in reality, you feel the way you feel because you dont have a solid FT role. But Im happier. I enjoy it, but still find it difficult to get myself motivated. Just gonna observe that I suspect that a whole lot of people who have opted for the tiny-home/vanlife lifestyle have done so for pretty much the same reasons. Not everyone is super jazzed about working. With that in mind, the threat of beware! (Especially if you can do so alongside a therapist who gets this- mine has been insanely helpful in the process). The identity piece was really major for me I had spent my entire life from my teens onward defining myself by my academic and career performance and ambition, and when that ambition fell off as I started to see the world around me differently, I felt like I didnt know who I was anymore. Doing, in essence, the same work the whole time. Trust me, I know. I kind of always assumed that go-getterism was hardwired and permanent, so its interesting to learn from todays letter and comments that it can weaken under certain conditions. There are ways to get there! All the best, LW! I am observing thats true for a lot of people there may even be ebbs and flows where you want to work more again! My entire life growing up, I had a specific image of my life, and it revolved around my desired career. For Mr Max Daniels, a senior account manager at a London PR firm, the pandemic has been a useful wake up call. What makes us happy does change over time. I feel that youve already arrived at a conclusion and are working backwards to support it, rather than following the premise to its logical conclusion. Would definitely encourage the LW to explore this. Part of the process can be figuring out the next goal. I was scared. Using my fingers at all made it worse, and quickly.) Thank you for asking this question. The series is good (though it does have a couple of standalone clunkers), and several of its books hinge on characters making extremely consequential decisions about what they want their lives to be including middle-aged and older characters. Weve all got a massive dose of perspective., Routledge sees thepast 16 months as a global version of what often happens when hyper-ambitious people reach burnout. Some of us have to work at jobs we used to love but increasingly hate because were struggling to support our families. Id rather have a job that allows me to do what I want in my spare time, and not live to work. DID the pandemic do a doozy on everyone? It was the chance to get in on the ground floor of something pretty exciting. I have to go back to faking smiles, and being polite to people who are horrible, and doing all the emotional labor that I could avoid at work from home. Finally, it could just be that you really like being independent and freelancing, and that you dont want to be an employee. What to do when we have no goals, no dreams and no ambition? Im ready for something different and Im trying to figure out what that new something could be. Brene Brown has an article called midlife unraveling that really spoke to me. That is definitely on my lists of things to do, Tour de Mont Blanc is amazing and suitable for all levels since there are busses between refuges if you dont feel up to a tough bit. Find someone to talk to that can guide the next stage of your life. Absolutely read that as gentle sarcasm guessing the LW lives in Canada or a European country and just wanted to clarify for the US-based audience another reason why not taking a full-time gig isnt necessarily as big a risk. Its surprising how often people get caught up in commands, whether their own or externally-given, and cant stop doing the thing, even once its demonstrably been done. What helped is reframing my job. I just wanted to say, youre not alone buddy, I feel you. Im pushing 45 & have been a hard-working go-getter since middle school & am completely lost as to how to get even a smidge of my old ambition back. In essence, we become what God (however you understand the Divine) has put us in this Earth to become. Aww, yay!! I work as a freelancer, I love it, and the only way Ill go back to a 9-5 is if it becomes necessary for some truly catastrophic reason. People change, often. Not negotiable). The less you do when youre younger, the most catch up you may have to do later. You dont get to minimize peoples experiences and feelings and tell them to be lucky to be employed or employable. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. I feel like getting into a routine will help. Stopping: How to Be Still When You Have to Keep Going, by David Kundtz. What sounds like fun to you? A lot of time, as much time as you needNOT well I guess I can afford/not feel guilty about a month. (I dont know how much you can afford, so adjust accordingly. You wont find me working for payday loan chains or Wal-Mart, lets put it that way. The feeling that I wasnt good enough had been bearing down on me and keeping me away from my real gifts. Work and social life overlapped and I got both my intellectual stimulation and a lot of friendly people time. Its not like I landed a dream job at an animation studio out of the blue, but I did slowly find some work in marketing that involved animation after getting a college degree in visual arts . I think they need to get the job to improve their relationships. You mention wanting to travel. You make a comparison to a romantic relationship. And we need a new, more lasting way to define ourselves, because we realize that goals and achievements are ephemeral. Have you asked respected people for counsel? I cant say what the OP should do, but I can say what I would like to think Id do if I was in OPs position. I was between professional jobs once, and got a job at a call center. I hear some younger colleagues saying some things about work life balance and all of that and I am thinking, they do realize that if they value work life balance and never advance, they are going to have to work to a later age, right? Both are inspirational in terms of the value of being present in whatever moment you are in, without judgement. Sometimes you need to! Now? But why does it have to be? Thats the stuff from which mentorships are usually built. For example, Ive always been fascinated by animation and Im a huge comedy fan , Pretty much. Not everyone can do that. For example, opportunities that 3-4 years ago would have been right up our alley, or that sound great on paper are now met with a resounding meh, I dont think I want to do that right now or but then Im going to have to do the prove myself in a new job thing, and I LIKE not having to have my life revolve completely around work Its like with everything going on, all of us are decidedly in a work to live phase instead of living to work. Fortunately, you live in a socialist hellhole and thus have access to the kind of help you need.